Motivating children to read and write at home

Motivating children to read and write at home clearly depends very much on your child!  For some children, having a really established routine and habit is the way forward (a blog post to come). However, if you are interested in motivating children to read and write outside of a normal routine, read on!

Curiosity

Children are inherently curious.  They enjoy finding things out and discovering.  Perhaps build some reading and writing into this desire to find out new things?  Perhaps they can research places to visit by reading brochures or looking online?  Can they research and write a family quiz and wow you all by their superior knowledge?  

If at this point you are thinking “well my child isn’t curious and they don’t enjoy finding out about new things, all they want to do is play computer games all day”, consider what they enjoy about online games.  Is it the sense of getting to the next level?  Discovering the next world?  Finding out whether they can build or master something new today?  In fact, many computer games draw on this natural sense of curiosity about what is around the corner and discovering new things.  So perhaps they could be re-directed from time to time?!

Do they want to do it?

Generally we are motivated when we ourselves decide we want to do something – when we realise it is worthwhile and something we genuinely want to do.  We are generally less motivated when someone else persuades us it is a good idea!  So in an idea world, we would help children to understand the value of reading and writing for themselves.  This might be in very general terms, or it might be specific to a particular situation. Eg If they can find a great book that they find truly enjoyable, they will read for genuine enjoyment.  Or if they decide that it would be a brilliant idea to write to their cousin, then they are likely to enjoy doing it much more than if we suggest it.  Take any opportunity to create the environment for them to find these motivators for themselves! 

The page on Summer reading and writing ideas shows ideas that you can adapt to achieve this.  If you can encourage your children to create a reading or writing zone themselves, then they are much more likely to use it (image inspiration here!).  If they are given the tools to create a comic, but are then allowed to choose to do it and come up with the activity themselves, they are more likely to be motivated and enjoy doing it.

Choice

I think that often the more choice and control the child has over their activity, the more they are likely to enjoy it.  Some children will need just a gentle nudge in the right direction; others will need more specific ideas and structure. In holiday time particularly, I think it is good to create more freedom and choice than the term time.  Could bedtime sometimes involve a word-related game and listening to a story if you have a reluctant reader?  Could the whole family decide they are going to do some kind of project and your child gets guided – but chooses – to do one themselves?

Modelling

Not the fashion kind of modelling…  It is well known that children pick up on their parents’ values and habits.   So if you want your children to read, it is great if they can see you reading – or writing – too.  It is easy to have this aspiration but it can all to easily disappear in a busy life.  You may want to consider how you could create a new habit for yourself if this is important to you. Often this means setting aside a small amount of time alongside a regular kind of activity already happening. Eg keeping a book in the car for yourself and reading rather than doing emails; reading in-between cooking dinner or just after a meal etc.  If you read when your children are asleep, perhaps mention what you are reading and talk about it.  Even seeing a book lying around can give them comfort that this is something you also do and they may ask about it.  

I make a point of writing an occasional card with a note, explaining that I think it is an important thing to do and that people value this.  Then hopefully it will give context when I suggest the children write a card to someone at a later date.  Reading and writing is something we do in this house.

I am also a fan of parallel reading and writing.  Sometimes it is right and good for your child to read or write with you looking over their shoulder.  However, it creates a very different feeling for you and your child if you read or write in parallel with them.  I am going to write my diary for 5 minutes, why don’t you sit next to me and write yours at the same time? Don’t want to read out loud – that is fine – let’s both do some quiet reading side by side after dinner.  Worth trying as it also gives them a feeling of being a bit more grown up…

Praising the process…

Consider praising children for the process rather than the outcome.  At home, in the holidays, if they write something, try not to correct every spelling mistake and capital letter.  If you can find something that is good to praise (“love how funny your character is!!”), then fabulous.  Otherwise, consider praising them for their creativity; or the fact they have taught you something new. Maybe how focused they were on what they were doing; or how Great Aunty Marg will so appreciate the time they’ve spent on that card…

Challenge versus boredom

Encouraging children to engage in some reading or writing that is a little challenging, but not too challenging, is great for motivation.  They can see that they have accomplished something or enjoyed it, but not become bored or frustrated.  Free choice or gently guided choice of books may be an option here.  If they are writing, then giving them ideas to stretch them to write more expansively might be an option but without labouring all the writing rules during the holidays and at home.  If you are playing a game, then as the adult, you can alter or add to the game to make it easier or harder – for example by requiring certain types of words (related to a subject, more than 4 letters etc) or by you yourself choosing ambitious vocabulary with your turn.

Carrots

Let’s face it, I’m sure most people reading this have used some kind of gentle bribery with their children at some point.  I certainly have done!   I’m also sure that many of us have used the metaphorical “stick”, for example by withdrawing the right to go online or threatening to do so.  However, carrots and sticks can have some longer-term drawbacks in terms of motivation. It is certainly true too that you often have to reinvent the ‘carrot’ when it starts losing its novelty value…(been there, done that).

So whilst it would be a bit rich of me to sit here and say that carrot and stick approaches are not useful, it is probably true that there are some other questions to ask too…For example, perhaps trying to uncover a bit more about why they don’t want to do it.  “Books are boring.”  Are all books boring?  Are comics boring? What was the book you most enjoyed? “Books are difficult”.  Cue to investigate level of reading book.  “I don’t like writing, it makes my hand hurt”.  Perhaps write in a short burst or try a writing grip – that might be something to explore in the holidays before hitting school writing again.  “I’m too tired”.  Perhaps instigate reading or writing earlier in the day or listening to a story for now?

“Motivating is about creating the environment, supporting their independence and then letting them explore…”

If children can find their own way to enjoy reading and writing – or to see its purpose and value  – then it is much more motivating for them and much less work for us as adults!  It is just sometimes helpful if we can create the environment and resources for them to discover this for themselves, then hand over to them to discover in their own way…