Reading & writing at home

It is that time of year again. Exam revision is in the air – or maybe you’d like it to be but it is not! Getting the balance between healthy, balanced teenagers and productive and efficient students is hard. And ultimately, if they are in their teens, much of this must be experienced and led by them.

Exam revision tips

Research shows that some things make for good, productive revision though:

• Eating well
• Sleeping (8-10 hours a night, some studies suggest a minimum of 9 hours) and recuperating well
• Planning revision into short, manageable chunks
• Interleaving different subjects (biology, then maths, then art…)
• Planning what to do as well as when to do it
• Active revision (less watching/reading and more doing)
• Self-testing

How to help – exam revision tips for creating a timetable

If your teen is amenable to it, then having some involvement in their revision planning might be appropriate. Consider creating a timetable and inserting:

• family plans/commitments
• their personal plans – if there aren’t many, insert a space for them, such as [friends]
• study leave / school time commitments
• subjects by 25 – 40 minute blocks – vary subjects (interleaving)
• what they are going to tackle each session and possibly how they are going to do this (see below)
• times for meals, showers and mini breaks!
• whole ‘rest days’ from time to time
• review times (each week?) where you review the timetable and flex it depending on what is going well, what is worrying etc

Talk to them about whether they want to work in the morning, afternoon or evening – when is best for them?

Regarding what to tackle, it can be really helpful for them to look through their exam content and work out (1) what they need to learn (2) what they need to practise. It is really important to get to part (2), as self-testing is proven to be critical in terms of successful revision.

Regarding how they revise, everyone has a personal preferences and if online flashcards are their thing, then great. However, I would think about varying the type of revision – making flashcards will demotivate anyone if that’s all they do. Look at suggestions from school and individual teachers. Remember to cross-reference: a great biology teacher might provide a good revision idea for DT. Don’t be afraid to speak out loud (if alone!) or use drawings, colours or actions to aid memory. Cross-sensory input can be really important. Can they record language words and phrases with a gap to practise them then listen back and try to fill in the gap before hearing the answer?

Be under no illusions – a detailed, thoughtful timetable takes time to put together. It can however create a sense of control and organisation.

I would encourage built-in review and flexibility to stop any sense of discouragement or rigidity. The temptation is usually to be too ambitious when designing this kind of timetable. It is important to acknowledge this if it happens.

Start by producing a ‘light’ timetable, with provision to add in as you go if things are going well. This will ensure a sense of success and good self-esteem – probably more critical than that extra session!

How to help – resources and support

Once your teen has decided on their timetable, have they got the right resources? Most should come from school (they may need to fill in any gaps from school) but you may be able to support. For example, can you download exam papers (from the correct exam board!) or test them on content verbally? If they are planning to make flashcards, have they got record cards? Do they want some A3 paper (or back of a cardboard box) to create a large mindmap? Revision exam-specific text books can be excellent and provide a systematic way of revising (check the exam board they are doing to buy the correct one).

Once they have a timetable devised by themselves, it will be easier to support them to achieve what they have decided.

• Suggest keeping their phone away from their studies
• Suggest using a timer for breaks or alarms for when to start. (A 10-minute break can disappear very quickly by the time you have got a drink, been to the toilet and stroked the dog…)
• Offer to wake them / remind them of their timetable when you’re around
• Praise or encourage them when they are keeping to their plan and support their time-off
• If you are around, offer them a snack or drink to coincide with a break and offer a listening ear – it can be lonely revising!

Can you make them do it?!

Probably not. It depends on the relationship and personality of the child – which as a parent you know best. We do know that intrinsic motivation is probably better than extrinsic motivation. ie If they decide they want to do it, it is better than being told by you as a parent. That is why ensuring they come up with their timetable is critical. However, I do think that as parents and educators we have a role in guiding them to think through their plans for themselves. If revision is feeling a bit stagnant, depending on your child, you might start a conversation with some of these starters:

• What would you like to do when you leave school? (If this turns out to be something that might require good grades, the conversation could develop in finding out what grades are required and a plan to get them).
• If you don’t know what you want to do in the future, would you like to keep your options as open as possible (with strong exam results)?
• Revision can seem a bit daunting. Would you like to come up with a timetable – I can jot it down if you tell me what your plans are? (This allows it to be led by them.)
• We’ve got some family plans coming up but I don’t want to disrupt your studies. Shall we look at the calendar together? (This might reveal how many days / weeks are left to revise! For those more motivated, it genuinely allows a planned revision / family time diary.)
• Have you thought about how much revision you’d like to do before the [maths] exam? (You may find they are ambitious but when you show them the calendar, they discover there isn’t as much time as they thought!)
• Are you happy you know what and how to revise for your different subjects – this can be tricky?
• Is there anything that is worrying you about the upcoming exams?
• Do you feel you have somewhere at home that you’re comfortable to revise? (Changing a room slightly, offering a desk space, suggesting a space outside of your home etc may be seen as a novelty to help kick start things).

Exam revision tips – how much is too much?!

I’m not sure anyone would want to put a figure on this as it massively depends on the child or teenager. You might want to consider how they eat and sleep – excesses (in either direction) may be warning signs. Personally, I would also want to see regular downtime and fun. It is hard to sustain intense revision for weeks on end and there is a risk of burnout.

Also, consider their language and unpicking the messaging to open up discussion. “I won’t pass this exam unless I study for 12 hours today” might mean “I’m scared of this exam and don’t know what I am doing”. “My friend is doing 12 hours a day” might suggest a conversation about productivity, smart working and ‘playing your own game’. “You don’t understand” might suggest finding a mentor or adult who does appear to ‘understand’.

Further help

If you would like to discuss revision further, please contact me for a parent consultation and / or to discuss mentoring. The introductory 15-minute call is free. I will also happily provide you with an example and blank revision template – just pop a note in the ‘contact’ form to this effect.

What is character education?

Character education means educating to nurture a set of traits that will sustain a rich and rewarding life and contribute to a thriving society. Simple! The Jubilee Centre is a leading academic institution working on this area if you want the definitions and frameworks….

Why is it important?

Apart from perhaps the obvious statement that we all want our children to live rewarding lives, there is evidence that it is becoming an increasingly important area for recruiters. It has been noted that some employers take character education so seriously, that they are recruiting qualification-blind. ie demonstrable character traits are trumping exams when it comes to employing people. Character education is also becoming an increasingly important consideration in our schools and in school admission policies. Some schools have started suggesting that they are looking at assessing explicitly on the basis of character traits.

So what does character education actually consist of?

There are a number of ways of defining character education so it depends on the organisation and their aims. However, it might consist of nurturing some of the following attributes:

• resilience
• creativity
• determination
• humility
• courage
• adaptability
• self-organisation
• patience
• gratitude
• integrity
• good decision-making
• etc

How do you teach character education!?

Much has been written about this, but from a parenting, family or small scale perspective, you might consider the following:

• virtue literacy: talking explicitly about these traits and using the language
• teachable moments: finding opportunities to notice when people are demonstrating (or not) the traits you are trying to encourage
• autonomous reasoning: encouraging reflection to lead someone to their own conclusions about the merits of these traits
• ensuring belonging: a sense of belonging in a family or community or group is an important part of nurturing these traits
• valuing character: ensuring that the balance of praise and conversation gives weight to the importance of these traits (versus, for example, exam results, activity at any cost or inadvertently exalting the opposite of the values you are trying to encourage!)

Transformational or transactional school education?

Schools – to varying degrees – do teach character education, both formally and informally. But even outside “PSHE” and the odd teacher conversation, it is worth considering the purpose of education more broadly.

Do we learn maths to allow us to do quadratic equations for the rest of our lives? For many of us (myself included!), the answer is no. The rationale for learning maths is partly because it underpins the development of logical and critical thinking; teaches determination, resilience and patience; and helps practise self-organisation. (You may think self-organisation has little to do with quadratic equations, but when you have rows of working out going in all directions and with no order, I can guarantee it doesn’t help the final outcome). English too, may not be everyone’s idea of fun. However, creativity, understanding others’ viewpoints, open-mindedness and – in some cases – gratitude, may well be nurtured from reading and discussing literature. This is transformational education rather than transactional education…

Character education and expectation

One experienced Head explained how at the end of school everyday, she would dismiss her infants with the whisper, “You’ve had a lovely day.”. Five seconds later, the infant would be greeted by the parent asking, “How was your day?”, to which the child would invariably reply, “I’ve had a lovely day.” This would invariably lead to a conversation about why the day was lovely and the child would likely talk about something positive (there is always something positive in a busy day), thereby setting up the expectation that school was a positive place.

Expectation shapes us. If you are constantly told you are inpatient, you are likely to live up to this expectation. Consider the following list, inspired by Lao Tau:

• thoughts, turn into
• words, which turn into
• actions, which turn into
• habits, which turn into
• character, which turns into
• destiny.

The words and expectations we have around our children are important. If you’re like me, this may feel a little daunting! But one chunk at a time…

Character education ideas for home

• Challenge our own negative thoughts
• Challenge our children’s negative words as well as actions – words lead to actions
• Consider changing one habit to better nurture a character trait in the list above
• Consider actively using some of the language around virtues and character traits
• Consider instigating quiet moments within the week – whether a full-out digital detox day; some prayer or meditation time; or just some face-to-face, quiet conversation with some character education substance to it.
• Consider pointing out / discussing / reflecting on genuine beauty: art, nature, music. Stop and pause. It demonstrates a reflective quality which is increasingly lost in the modern world.
• Reflect on particular areas of life where character education might have meaning for your family. eg on the sports pitch. (And for inspiration in this area, you might take a peek at Working with Parents in Sport)
• Consider the end goal for your children: not the defined life choices, but the character traits which will allow them to make their own strong life choices. There are a number of books on the market, but a rather old-fashioned, but endearing book, is How to Raise an Adult. Just having the title hanging around is somehow helpful…

Finally, this blog was inspired by a conference on Thursday 5th October 2023, hosted by Sir Anthony Seldon, entitled Character Education. My thanks to the speakers and delegates for the input! If you would like to discuss further, please contact me.

It can be so worrying when your child is struggling at school. Sometimes you will find a fabulous teacher who is full of ideas and compassion and it all just ‘clicks’. But so often this is not the case.

Struggles can show up academically: my child is not reading to the required level, they are still ‘working towards’ the expected standard. Sometimes it shows up in behaviours – angry outbursts, crying, reluctance to go to school. Often it shows up as in a variety of ways- and for good reason.

As a parent, it can be really tough trying to work out what the problem is and how you can help…

3 top tips if your child is struggling at school…

• Speak to the school.
• Speak to a GP or another health professional.
• Talk to your friends and family

How to do it – school

• Talk to your class teacher. If your child has significant additions needs, it is not unreasonable to ask for an extra meeting in addition to the 5 minute parent evening slot. After all, parents’ evening meetings are a suitable length for an average consultation about an average child and tricky difficulties need more time. That having been said, teachers are busy with a lot of pupils, so try to make any meeting efficient. Think 10 – 20 minutes and if you get longer, then that is a bonus!
• Clarify in advance what your concerns are and what you want to see done. Be specific. ‘I’m worried about him’ tells the teacher about you. But ‘I am concerned he cries every morning before school; tells me he doesn’t understand the maths; and that he gets scared in the playground’ gives much more to work with.
• Agree a review date – it helps to focus the actions and gives you an agreed opportunity to check in with the teacher.
• Consider following up with an email thanking the teacher for their time and confirming any specific actions.
• Ask if there is anything you can do to help. Try to make this a partnership – it works best this way but also endears you to the teacher. Be open about any relevant issues going on at home so that staff can be sensitive to them.
• Consider bringing in the SENCO. Special Educational Needs C0-Ordinators exist in every school, although their roles vary considerably. If you don’t feel that you are getting anywhere with the teacher, they remain an option.

How to do it – GP

• Remember a telephone appointment may be easier than face-to face but ensure that you can do this privately. It is easier to be open when your child or any siblings are not within earshot.
• Be specific about your concerns. Consider whether there are any assessments you want to discuss with the GP. How do you feel about your child’s hearing? Speech and language? Concentration? Dexterity and physical skills? Sleep? Development? Friendships? Be ready to answer these types of questions, even if you don’t consider them to be the crux of the problem.
• Remember that GPs may be able to allay your fears too. Children do develop at very different rates and in different ways. If this is the case, ask the GP for their opinion on what should get better and when. If they indicate a milestone should be reached within 6-12 months – or a problem resolved – then that gives you an indication of when to call back if necessary.
• Consider whether you can give feedback from the school. It is helpful for the GP to have an opinion from the school, if only that the teacher feels it would be useful to have a sight/hearing / development check; or that the teaching staff have been concerned about progress for some time; or that school are struggling to understand how to help.

How to do it – friends and family

• Parenting a child with difficulties is tough. It can feel isolating. Make sure you can talk to a few trusted people who can offer different types of support.
• The people you choose may or may not be family. They may have experience themselves either through their own children or from a professional perspective. You may find that those in education or health professions more generally have an interesting and sympathetic perspective. Equally, friends with a totally different remit in life can give you a fantastic listening ear and offer a fresh view on things.
• Enlist their support practically if it is helpful. If getting a child into school is an issue, is it worth asking another trusted adult to do the last stage? It might seem radical, but don’t rule out ideas which break unhelpful routines! Could they have breakfast with a friend and go into school with them? If reading is an issue, can they do homework with another trusted adult sometimes? Do they know a great tutor / optician who is good with children / parent managing hearing issues etc etc. They may even be able to suggest networks which can offer professional help for free.

“A local autism charity set up a drop-in evening near me with free advice from occupational therapists. Having been on a waiting list for months, I suddenly had access to a 30 minute conversation all about how I could best help my child at home over the next few weeks. So grateful.”

Finally…trajectory and prioritisation

It is all about prioritising…If there are multiple problems, it can be hard to tackle them all at once. Is the problem really important and is it hindering other areas of life? If a child is struggling to communicate, then this may impact many aspects of school, including friendships and self-esteem. First order priority. If a child has very messy writing, then I would suggest this is of lower order priority. Ultimately, they can have handwriting lessons, use a scribe and eventually use a laptop.

It is all about the trajectory…standing back, are things generally moving in the right direction? Everyone has bad days – even weeks – but are they making progress? If not, then continue pushing to seek external help and make this point. Timelines are important.

If they are moving in the right direction, but you want the progress to be faster, then you are still right to keep pushing things along. When children struggle at school it can have so many implications that it is important to address. Take a big breath and keep going!

November. In many parts of the Northern hemisphere it’s starting to get cold, wet, windy, and generally fairly uninspiring. Plus, the children are getting tired, getting colds (and worse) and Christmas feels frighteningly close yet a long time until the next holiday. Motivation for parents to support reading and writing at home in Winter is tough.

So it’s not surprising that about 2/3 the way through a very long school term, motivation can drain. Regular reading and writing at home feels harder to achieve: there seem to be less options and energy. And let’s face it, it is the motivation and patience of the adults at home that have a big influence on how much a child does.

The good news!

The good news is that there is still so much you can do before Christmas. First decide what you want to do. Then decide how and when to do it. Then decide how to hold yourself to account. Easy.

What to do

Decide what your aim is. It will depend greatly on your child’s abilities, age and motivation. Some examples might include:

• encouraging my child to read before bed 5 nights / week
• listening to my child read aloud x number of times / week
• downloading an audiobook or two and encouraging them to listen before bed x number of times / week
• reading alongside my child at a set time each weekend
• Asking them to write a note in some Christmas cards
• reading aloud at a nativity / church service (I’ve never forgotten learning the word “multitude” as part of a carol service reading)
• creating a Christmas library (more on that on 24/11)
• going to the library

How to do it

If you’re like me, I have to have a specific goal. And generally I have to write it down. Some children may want to be involved in the goal setting – it can be very powerful to have them decide – or at least choose between options.

I’d encourage you to decide when (exactly) you are going to do it. You may wish to look at the diary ahead of time and also decide when you cannot do it. This can help emphasise how important the allotted times are. If you can see a week coming up with a torrent of matches, concerts, plays and evenings out, you’re going to have to work creatively to keep on schedule! But at least you don’t end up in a despairing downward cycle of feeling like you’re not achieving your goal.

As you look at the diary, also look for opportunities which arise as one-offs. For example, is it worth buying that pantomime programme if you know they’d be keen to read the actors’ biographies? (Or maybe that is the deal before you buy it!). If you drive around to look at Christmas lights, can they write a letter to a grandparent describing the best display they saw? As you look at the display, keep this in mind: you can soft-tutor the language as you’re talking . So rather than “Wow, I love it, do you want another mince pie?”, you could say, “Look at the reflection of those white lights, dripping off the eaves of that house.” Or, “I love the contrast of Santa’s crimson coat with his heavy black boots”. It might sound contrived on this page, but throwing in the odd sentence or word builds up the children’s vocabulary and ideas for writing.

Quick side note: for some children you may need to distinguish between written language and spoken. Particularly for those on the autistic spectrum, or who have similar tendencies, they may need to be specifically coached that this is great language to use when writing, but not necessarily chatting with their friends.

Hold yourself to account

Argh. A hard one. But somehow you need to monitor and check in with yourself. Sometimes this can be as simply as telling a friend what your plan is, and jokingly asking them to check in with you on how it is going when you next meet. It might be scheduling it in as a work task. Or it might be having a tick-chart on the fridge.

Depending on your circumstances, you may wish to consider fitting your parenting goals firmly alongside your work goals. There is some excellent and thoughtful information available for combining professional careers with motherhood and work-life balance. One of these includes a free goal-setting webinar next week for subscribers…contact me for more information.

Finally – getting that winter motivation for supporting reading and writing at home is possible. It just sometimes needs a boost and a plan!

Be realistic…

We are all busy in the run-up to Christmas – both adults and children. Your child is unlikely to read 3 long novels before Christmas if they haven’t read any yet.

…but be encouraged

Equally – don’t give up and leave it to the New Year! If you commit to do something – say for 15 minutes 5 times a week, this is 1 hour 15 minutes. There are still more than 5 weeks before most schools break up. The maths is compelling – over 6 hours of intensive reading, writing or listening time. That is more tutoring time than most of my tutees will receive between now and Christmas and I have great hopes for progress for all of them in that time…

Picture books are for babies? Somehow we are led to believe that the more a child is able to read, the less pictures there should be in the book…

But do you appreciate and look at the illustration on the front of a book?  Do your children?  Of course they do!  Visual imagery is really important and I feel it is such a shame that illustrations generally disappear from children’s books soon after they get into chapter books.  

This post is to encourage you to re-consider picture books – ones with appropriately mature stories or themes – with your older children.  In particular, if you are able to read or talk with them about the book.

Why picture books?

Some children find more joy in illustrations than in text.  Let them enjoy them!  They may be a budding artist in the making, or they may simply appreciate illustration.

However, if you also allow time to absorb the pictures and discuss them, you will find a new way into the story or theme.  Plus, you can enrich their linguistic skills by using interesting language yourself and prompting them to think critically about the picture.

Illustrations can also be a useful way in to discovering whether a child understands what they have read. Asking them to connect the text to the picture – discovering where the illustrator has drawn on the text and where they have developed their own ideas – can show their comprehension skills. In reverse, asking a child to draw a picture based on a text can also draw out their comprehension skills! See the post on reading for meaning for more discussion on this topic.

Finally, some children will find a discussion about the illustration (which will, of course, be a discussion about the text to a degree) much less ‘heavy’ than what they perceive as comprehension questions on the text.  You can still delve into the theme and meaning of the text, via the illustrations.

What to ask

• Why has the illustrator added that particular picture?
• What does the illustrator want us to think about at this point in the story?
• How does the word or text link to the picture?
• Would you have drawn a different illustration and if so, why? (drawing out what they feel is the important bit of the book at that point)
• Do you think the illustrator has used their imagination a great deal or really drawn as much as possible from the words?

How to find picture books for older children

It is true that picture books for older children can be hard to find and expensive to buy. They are often the hard-back or presentation versions.

So it is definitely worth looking in charity shops – particularly charity shops specialising in books – for real bargains. Hard back illustrated books can be relatively fantastic value and are often in great condition. The Red Cross, Oxfam (Guildford and Cranleigh in Surrey are great) and Amnesty are major charities which have several specialist bookshops.

Of course you can go online, though it can be harder to work out whether the book you are buying has illustrations in it. Filters don’t seem to often allow for this…

So f you want some inspiration for titles, try looking at these blog posts (links here to year 6 but there are other year groups on the same site)

You will also find that the ‘gift’ section of major bookshops has an array of beautifully illustrated books which you can buy – or you can use as inspiration for a second-hand online search

Just take a look at Michael Morpurgo’s book “Arthur” or Jesse Burton’s Restless Girls if you are in any doubt that illustrated tales are only for younger children…